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I were asked who I am. I smiled and answered hesitatingly ” I don’t know I am just a person who used to be once kicked off by a man , a man I gave him all of my life, all of my loves, all of my trusts but ultimately he left me, lonely by saying ” I’M NOT WORTH HIS TYPE.”
Why?ខ្ញុំអន់មិនស្មើរនឹងអ្នកណាស់? Just Because I am so dump , just because I have nth, or just because he didn’t see my worth? [That is the most heartbreak story of me at the early age of 20………]
It still hurts sometimes though it’s been almost a year now. It hurts to remember how I never got the feeling of being proud from someone I used to love like I was always proud to have him. It’s hurt to see someone I used to love walked pass me with his new girl at the place where we both used to make so many memories.But I was strong, I walked pass him confidently and whispered from my heart wishing him a very good luck with his girl. It is even more hurt when you realize what you have done for that person was nth, nth beside he accused you as a trouble a maker, nth beside hearing the word from person who had told you you were one of his most favorite people but later on he said You are not his type.
I cried ! Who care? I don’t want anyone to care about me. I now can take a good care of myself. I am sethneary , I am healing. Healing from every dark cloud i have encountered through all these months:
1. Admitting that things have gone wrong: I am healed, I let go the belief of how good he is to match my type, how good he is to be my boyfriend, I let go the feeling of blaming myself for the breakup because if he is good as what i have always thought of him, he wouldn’t treat me that bad and if he love me like i thought he would give me happiness then he wouldn’t leave me. (Don’t try to lie to yourself. People who broke your heart will never give you happiness )
2. Losing love is not as hurt as losing yourself: That was so shit I forgot to practice self-care, I let my poor self-esteem get over me. I pleaded with him, I missed him,I was so afraid of being alone without him. But why? Why did I plead with a person who never wanted my pledging? Why did I want to have that person with me while he never wanted me ? This was so terrible. I shouldn’t have done that. So if you are reading this, Please Don’t beg anyone for love while they don’t want your love. We should have better begged ourselves to move on from them. By loving yourself is like to let yourself to explore more, to protect yourself more, to respect yourself more and to never get hurt again. You can beg but limit your begging.
3. Learning to live in the present: Reminding about our past won’t make anything better. Let him go. He is nth for you now. Take time to learn something new. Take time to enjoy new habit. Take time to build you, yourself for the better version. Like now I am owning my page Switching – ចម្លាស់ I move small step to step and I don’t stop, I meet out with new people, I travel to places where i have never been. I search for production online course. I have more time to seek for my life goal and I build it.
I am so grateful now. I can answer the first question above. I am not worth his favorite type doesn’t mean I am dump or nth just because he is blind not to see my worth , just because he is disable of his capacity to take a good care of me.
From me Sethneary, a girl who a man kick off.
ពីខ្ញុំ សិទ្ធិនារី ជាមនុស្សស្រីដែលមនុស្សប្រុសបោះបង់!
